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Tuesday, December 15, 2009 @ 6:56 PM
 Self-explanatory
Tuesday, November 03, 2009 @ 10:25 PM
To my piece of poop (: I know this week's going to be a gruelling week, being the last few days before the dreaded A's, but hang in there, okay? I know you can. & I know you know you can too. You know you've worked hard, and you know you know your stuff. Now just have faith in yourself and have faith in the way you've worked and go in there and rock the A's, knowing that results are secondary if you've given it your best. Also, go in there reassured that in whatever way you may come out from the hall, be it bursting with confidence or battered and beaten, you'll be the same boy I've known you to be and the same retarded jerk/piece of shit I will, somehow, always love. (: All my love, The girl who you sometimes call a bitch (Hahahaha) The girl who you always make feel like a princess
Saturday, October 03, 2009 @ 6:35 AM
Okay I haven't been online for a while, and I come to my blog and see it spammed.
Guest, Yes, I admit I'm a little too hung up on the past, but not because of the perfections it presented, but because of the IMPERFECTIONS that made IJ real. In IJ it was learning to love despite and BECAUSE of each of our imperfections. So while I know I shouldn't cling on to the past because well, it's the past, I will not be sorry for it. I am baffled by so many around me because of the clash in values. Here, I find people walking away or staring and just continuing what they were doing when someone drops a pile of notes on the floor, I find people who take their future for granted, I find people who do not realise that they are looking down on others when they say the things they do. & While you may say not all IJ girls have such a strong, unwavering value system, I need you to realise that the closest around me in IJ did, and that is why I find myself not understanding the things people do, or don't, when they are supposed or not supposed to. Yes I do agree that IJ isn't the only way of life for everybody, but for me, it is. IJ has taught me so much, and I do not think you understand that. When I say IJ is the only way of life to me, I mean I will never compromise on the values she has taught me. Which brings me back to the point on why people around me baffle me - It's simple. Their values systems do not match mine. You say it's only appropriate to adapt, and not complain about the different values surrounding me while still holding on to my own set of values - Please tell me how because I'm struggling to find a way to do that too. Again, even if I did adapt, I won't let go of my own values, the IJ values, because to me, if you truly stand firm to what you believe in, you won't condone actions that go against your own beliefs. About the bit you wrote about looking around and knowing that there are those who care, I DO know that. & I do believe the people who care for me know that I care for them too. You don't know me well enough to say these things if you think I'm apathetic towards everyone and brush them all off in Nj. I cannot say I love them as much as I love my friends in IJ simply because I've been through 4 years of ups and downs with these people, and in Nj, it's only been eight months. Love comes with time, so does trust and genuine friendships. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the friendships I have in Nj are insincere or that I don't trust my friends here. I'm saying that time cultivates and nurtures these intangible aspects of life. & If I do know you in Nj and you want to sit down and have a talk with me about why IJ means this much to me, I welcome you to. Because I've said it time and again, NO ONE will question the IJ way of life or the things I hold firmly to without me standing up for them. Do you see the number of ex-ij girls who tagged on my blog in refutation to your comments? THIS is why IJ is irreplaceable - We may not be physically there for each other every day of our lives, but we see what truly matters - Being there with or without actually being there. THIS is why I still cling on so relentlessly to IJ memories, because once I've experienced IJ, nothing else has ever been comparable since, and I strongly believe nothing else will. "You can take a girl out of a convent, but you'll never take the convent out of the girl" - Dear Ex-IJ girls who tagged(: Thank you so much for your support - This really shows me, beyond a doubt, that IJ will be the family holding on in the end. The home outside our home. They say, home is where the heart is, and I know for a fact that my heart will always be in IJ and that IJ will always be with me in my heart. STAY STRONG GIRLS. WE WILL PULL THROUGH <3
Saturday, September 26, 2009 @ 1:26 PM
"I was only going to say that heaven did not seem to be my home; and I broke my heart with weeping to come back to earth; and the angels were so angry that they flung me out, into the middle of the heath on the top of Wuthering Heights; where I woke sobbing for joy. That will do to explain my secret, as well as the other. I've no more business to marry Edgar Linton than I have to be in heaven; and if the wicked man in there had not brought Heathcliff so low, I shouldn't have thought of it. It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff, now; so he shall never know how I love him; and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same, and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire." Catherine Earnshaw - Wuthering Heights PROMOS ARE IN 3 DAYS. Damn. Matthew and I tried to quantify life the other day, and we came up with numerous equations, how Life = Stress + Fun, therefore Life - Stress = Fun, and Life - Fun = Stress? We threw in family, friendship, love, and suddenly Matthew said, that Life was simple, that Life = (God)^1 I'm neither a Catholic nor a Christian but I've been put in mission schools since I was in kindergarten, and to enter into a school without a faith left me very lost, especially in the first few months. It puzzles me still how people can do things they do, how people can think the things they do here, and I find myself baffled by so many around me. I miss IJ and all that comes with it. My friends are having it rough where ever they are too, and it leads me to believe that there will never be a place we can call a home away from home besides IJ. So by class to the clique that will never be replaced: Valerie - I know you're going through a lot now, be it dealing with Promos or coping with what has happened, but I really admire how strong you are. Honestly, I've been there and I crumbled, yet you stand tall. It is so hard to let go, but you do it so gracefully, it's amazing. I've had so many crazy memories with you, Valerie Lim, and you're definitely a friend I will hold on to for the rest of my life. I love you, Val. I'll be here if ever you need Amanda - I know things aren't going well for you, with regards to PW, but you're AMANDA THIAN! You're always the unwavering rock, the resolute anchor. I know you're tired of everything, of picking up the slack, but I have faith in you, I know you'll pull through. "We will run & not grow weary, For our God will be our strength & We will fly like the eagle We will rise again" We will, I'm sure of it. I love you, Thian. Alesia Gian - I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU, STUPID PIECE OF SHIT. Okay sorry, I know it's my fault ): Looking back now, I miss every minute I had with you in IJ, be it being stupid in Jiow's Geog class (Irrigation? Right? Nod) to Chinese lessons (Jia yi, ni cai ni de ting xie na ji fen? LING FEN! / SHI JIAN DAO LE! Stands up and points to the clock), to all the times you've helped me one way or another. I MISS YOU, STUPID ): Eliza - You're also my idol for remaining so strong. I guess you're probably the one that comes closest to understanding the way I feel because you're pretty much going through the same thing. Thank you for listening, for caring, for helping me laugh about whatever that has happened, and realised that it's not an IJ to give up and be apathetic about everything, even if everyone else doesn't give a shit. I love you, Eliza Tan Gladys - I know we haven't spoken much and every time we meet, I honestly want to tell you so much but we all get so excited about seeing each other the words don't flow, at least to talk about the sad parts about what's been going on. I miss the times I used to pour my hearts out to you and Anne during Chinese lessons, and have Lao shi scold you for making me cry, or was it the other way around? I miss you, Glad. I want you to know that I'm happy if you are. I love you. Lianne - Reading your blog sometimes worries me. Lianne, do you remember what you told me when I first got together with him? You told me it'd get hard, but you said, if I look hard enough, what it comes down to was that there would always be something worth fighting for, even if it was just a glimmer of hope. I know we don't talk on a regular basis, but know that if you ever do want to talk, I'm here. I love you, poop. Samantha - SAM! Another person I haven't spoken to in eons. Sam, there's no one like you in Nj. No one who bullies me the way you do, no one who I know cares without having saying it. I know it sounds so stupid but I miss you and the rest slapping me, making me clear plates, stealing my bag, stealing my money, hiding my wallet/iPod/phone (Omg, I was quite pathetic ah! YALL LA) It won't feel right if anyone else does it. I miss you, Sam Becky Bro - Just to annoy you, BECKSTER! My dearest dearest desk partner. Do you know I think twice before breaking into a retarded song, do you know sometimes when something funny happens, I end up the only person in class laughing, do you know I teach everyone the special angle song, do you know I once started singing Larger than Life very loudly because I missed you too much. Nothing is the same, and no one's comparable to you. I mean come on, who else will take a piece of plastic, hold it between her thumb and index finger and turn to her partner and say, I've made a bridge? Who else will be so loser-ish to drop the contents of her file on the floor more than once in the span of 5 minutes? Who else will be so jealous of my statue of liberty blue tac structure that she smashes what I took an entire period to mould? I miss you like crap and love you a hell lot more Anne - I used to talk to you everyday online even if we did just spend the entire day together. We used to talk for hours on end at some stupid fast food restaurant, Pizza Hut or pepper lunch and come up with funny analogies. I'm quite certain that if we had the time we could do all that again. You're still one of the first people I would run to when things go wrong, you're still one of the only people I can do that with. I'm sorry I haven't had the time to keep up with everything, and though I'm terribly disconnected, I still care, and I still WILL be there, as I've promised a thousand times over I miss how with them, I am completely myself. Without uncertainty or doubt, I know these are the people who will be there for me at the end of the day.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009 @ 10:11 PM
VALERIE LIM SU ANN IS MY AWESOME SUPER GIRL <3 You'll always have me, Val. I promise. My shoulders always here for you to cry on, my ears are always here to listen, my hands always here to wipe away your tears and my arms always here to give you a great big hug. I promise I've been running so you can collapse on me and I'll support your weight (: Cheer up. I know exactly how you're feeling It's been more than 2 years, and I don't know why the hurt still comes back, harder now that this is happening to one of my best friends. I knew full well what I was getting myself into, yet I chose to take the leap of faith, believe in you, in us. I never asked for anything, I never demanded you to be there 24/7 for me, I never commanded that you give me all your attention, and yet you walked all over me, then walked out of my life. I spent the next two years wondering what a fool I've been to trust a guy like you. Now I've taken a step out of the ordinary with him, and it's been almost 5 months, and I'm proud to announce that because of you, I've learnt how not to be so needy, so pathetically piloted by another. We are independent, but together, we create a perfect blend, a immaculate fusion, and that is why I know we'll make it through any storm. I know next year it'll get so hard because I'll probably be a selfish, retarded bitch when you're in army, and we might not even have weekends because well, it'll be a busy year for me too, but we will find a way, we WILL make it work, however hard it gets. I'll fight till there's nothing left worth fighting for, which will never be the case because I believe beyond a doubt that with you, there will always be a reason to fight. I'm sorry for being a bitch whenever I get cranky, & thank you for loving me in spite of that. |
 Alyssa
"The hidden strength is too deep a secret. But in the end...in the end it is our only ally."I Never Promised You a Rose Garden by Joanne Greenberg Archives
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